Monday, July 2, 2012

The #Mallerisms, as heard at #RTCUSA / #RTCNA

(Long post, no pictures) While attending RTC North America, i had the privilege of teaching a couple of classes. Its always an honor to have anyone want to listen to whatever i have to say. Unfortunately, for the particular topic i had chosen, i knew coming out of the gate it was too long for the time slot i had, and in a moment of #Malleristiclogic (def: thoughts in a Maller that appear justifiable and sound from a logistical point of view, but are widely received as insane and/or ridiculously stupid to others (read: Normal People)), i decided to shotgun it and try getting through all of the material.

Side effect: I was talking in a pretty rapid fashion, instead of watching and remembering the script for my slides, and some #Mallerisms snuck out. After this started some conversations, i had to explain about the different #Mallerisms that i occasionally let fly, and so i promised a short list, along with the defining (and differentiating) characteristics. (References to Revit are similar to "lets use this in a sentence." Let it be known that i adore revit, so this is not to mock the product.

Lets do this:
1. #BagOfFail: A minor series of circumstance, in which failure is obvious because of poor planning but good intentions. Bag Of Fail is kind of what happens when Copy Monitor tries to rename grids, and you start at a grid who’s new name is already in use. It’s a Bag of Fail.

2. #BagOfDisaster: Bag of Fail, at a nuclear level. Honestly, you should have seen this shit coming. Your plan sucked. Really. Bag of Disaster is like: Using Split Face and Paint. (Scott Brown says "Friends dont let friends use SFAP...")

3. #BagofSmashedAss: This is the MOAB of Bag of Fail. When a BagofSmashedAss presents itself, i cant help but wonder if someone woke up and said "Hey, lets see how bad we can **** this situation up, hey! Here is an idea!"

4. #Failboat: The Failboat is the entire situation which results IN the Bag of_____ above. When someone asks you the one word question of "Failboat?" you politely ask: "Have you ever seen an entire boat of Fail, that didnt sink?" They cant say no, which means it is legitimate. That, folks, is Malleristic.

5. #DinosaurArms: When imitating people whos decisions are often present in a Failboat and are creating a Bagof_____, evidently my arms become locked: Elbows to waist, and they just wave around. I was told they look like little T-rex arms, so now when we are imitating people while telling Lessons learned, we have #DinosaurArms. Rawr. All up in this.

6. #Buttdyno: Its like when youre driving a Ford Fiesta but you think youre fast. You arent. So when youre working in a Model Group, and you think its small enough to be legit? Use the Butt Dyno. Yes, youve been working for an hour. No, you havent saved. The Buttdyno says youre in trouble.
7. #AssAche: Its really just less syllables for Pain in the Ass, right? Sometimes when i work with Stairs and Railings, i yell out what an assache it is. I cant afford the extra syllables, since im trying to efficiently model stairs and railings. (But if you took the class by 2*Manna's+D-Light, you can probably say PITA, since they made you better at Stairs than i am, thus you have more time. (I heard the class was sweet...)

8. And of course... #Screwtastrophe. Its the PG version of a similar word that is one letter shorter. A #screwtastrophe is the PLAN for the Failboat, resulting in the Bag of ______. Copy Monitor is definetely a screwtastrophe, but then again... So is playing VBall with sunglasses on your head, and so is swimming underwater in a 2 foot deep pool.... As i validated the night prior. So is.... Falling off the back side of the stage. It takes talent, to be that kind of a #Screwtastrophe. You get a PRIZE for that. =)

There you have it. If you hear a #Mallerism in the wild, be sure to post up. It catches, like a cold. Ive heard people in the office referencing Bag of Fail. Its the #VocabthatBIMBuilt.


JZ said...

#screwtastropher. (N.) One who creates a #screwtastrophe.

Aaron Maller said...

Thats #Screwtastrophic. For the win, mister Z. Got a bunch of great shots of you in the album, too. Best get to checkin them out!

Anonymous said...


Alex Cunningham said...
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Alex Cunningham said...

I think we need to make a This reading is priceless!!!